Saturday, 30 May 2009

And so it continues...

I've been doing a lot of thinking of late which is both a good and a bad thing. I kinda chickened out telling the girl I've been seeing recently when she enquired about my smooth legs, I told her I didn't like body hair, which isn't a lie I don't like body hair but it's a lot easier going out as Jenny if I've not got any body hair. The main problem I've been having is that she's really nice, we get on really well etc. She's probably the most perfect girl that I've liked and has been interested in me too, if I wasn't gender dysphoric I'd be completely over the moon. Instead I've been a bit depressed because I know that it's not going to work out, she's attracted to me as a guy.

I've been thinking I should tell her anyway and see how she reacts, if she was fine with it and had a relationship with her I don't think I would transition as that wouldn't be fair on her. If she wasn't ok with it we couldn't have a relationship, Jenny is part of me at the end of the day. Another part of me doesn't want to throw it away with her.

A very confused Jenny

Friday, 22 May 2009

Dilemma pt2

Firstly thanks to everyone that's commented on the subject, your wise words are greatly welcomed.

I've seen the as for mentioned girl a few times now and all is going well, I've not spoke to her yet about this subject. We're supposed to be meeting over the weekend, hopefully it will be nice weather so I can wear 3/4 length short/trousers which will hopefully initiate the question about why I have shaved legs etc.

Wish me luck - eek!
Jenn x

Sunday, 17 May 2009

Pimps and Ho's

Rachel Marie and I decided we should try out Club-O in Brizzel, well it was kind of my idea so I should take responsibility really. After meeting up with Rach, we were given the grand tour of Club-O by Geoff the owner, we were guaranteed to love it and it did look like a good venue - the club's got a (real) well! It accommodates a wide range of activities most of which I wouldn't be interested in a participating in if I'm perfectly honest - not that I usually lie.

The pub we were staying at was in the village where the whole road is gay*, if you know what I mean. After an ATM-Fail we walked in to town which is about 5 mins away to get cash and some food, while we were enjoying our food at GBK we see what was possibly the pinnacle of the weekend, a proper Pimp fully kitted out including cane, at this point we realised that we were in the coolest part of town. The area has all the high-street shops that you might want to visit for something new before heading out on the town, Topshop, H&M, New Look etc all present.

We got ready to the sound track of the Eurovision Song Contest which I was in awe of, one of the entrants had a girl miming and dancing while the real singer was at the edge of the stage - poor girl.

We walked to the club which only took about 3-4 mins, as we were new members we had to provide proof of address and ID which they didn't like the fact that we had our femme names despite me checking with Ge off before our arrival, ah no worries. It was pretty quiet when we got there, we got a couple of glasses and had some of the wine we took along - it's bring your own booze although they've just got their licence so it'll be available behind the bar soon.

There were a couple of RG hostesses, Sasha and Lucy somehow convinced me to get up and dance. Ordinarily I don't really do much dancing, partially because I'm pretty disjointed when it comes to that sort of thing but I think I danced a great portion of the night away.

During a brief visit outside to get some fresh air, Sasha and Lucy were surprised to learn that I wasn't particularly interested in men, it's funny how people just assume that if you want to be a woman you also fancy men. They'd not been around t-girls before but they said they really enjoyed their night.

Rach and I made our way back to the room we were stopping at, we got a couple of honks from cars going by - I'm sure they wouldn't have beeped if they'd looked closer hehe.

We had a good night anyway.

Take care
Jenn xx

*According to Geoff