The Big Smoke

I went to London on Monday to see Dr. Curtis of TransHealth about what options I have with regard to going full time and transitioning.

I stopped over at a friend's house on Sunday as they're about an hour out from London, I was presented with a beautifully wrapped present, a pink t-shirt with a cool binary design, I love it. Unfortunately my friend had to leave quite early so he didn't get to see me in the morning but his lovely wife was about and make me feel completely comfortable. She hadn't met me (Jenny) before I presented myself, she complimented me on my make-up skills and gave me a hug and her best wishes when I left, I really am very lucky to have such lovely friends.

The drive in to London went without incident although I ignored the directions when I got in to London and worked out my own route in which probably took longer but I had left with plenty of time. Once on Wimpole Street I parked up, paid for the congestion charge and the parking so I didn't have to worry about it. As I was early I gave Fiona (Fiona's Boots) a call as she was going for a job interview that afternoon, she had just got to Euston so it'd take a few minutes for her to get to where I was, I suggested to meet at Oxford Circus as that was the easiest tube station for her to get to. I made my way to Oxford Street which didn't take long at all, as I was there I thought it would be rude not to go in to Topshop for a look around, it was really nice to have a look around and felt a lot more comfortable than when in boy mode - I did have to buy a cardigan that I liked the look of. I also went in to H&M and got a vest top for £3, bargain! Luckily Fiona landed at Oxford Circus and greeted me with a big hug saving my bank balance from any more abuse, time was getting on now so she escorted me back to Wimpole Street. She'd been to see Dr. Curtis so knew where to go, we chatted all the way back about this and that as you do.

I pressed the button for Dr. Curtis and managed to get the words "I have an appointment with Dr. Curtis" out in some kind of order, the receptionist buzzed us in. I filled out a form with various questions about history, my details and consent. I was then called in, I said my good bye and good luck (for the job interview) to Fiona. Dr. Curtis had a medical student with him and asked if I minded her sitting in on the consultation which I didn't mind so it was ok, I was asked various questions about my gender history, childhood and the like. We spoke about options for my real hair and that any treatment wouldn't affect having laser hair removal on my face contrary to what they thought at the Nuffield Hospital in Plymouth (grrrh), what could be done with voice therapy and something I hadn't even thought about - Banking sperm so if I wanted to have my own children with a partner in the future I could use my own.

Another thing I hadn't thought of and hadn't come across is that some people return to living as their original gender either permanently or just for work and social gatherings, time will obviously tell on this one but (at this time) I don't think I will revert back once I've transitioned. We then talked about options for hormones, I would either have to go full time for 3 months or have 3 months of gender specific counselling, currently I wouldn't want to go full time as I still have a long way to go with getting rid of facial hair, I wouldn't be comfortable having to put so much foundation on all the time, I hate the amount I need when I do go out at the moment without that being every day. It was great to get things really moving in the right direction.

I had arranged to meet up with Beckie Cannons from TINT so I made my way to Westfield shopping centre not far from the big BBC building near White City, I did take a slight detour on my way but that's not important, I got their and met Beckie who was in drab yet looking dapper. We were both quite hungry so after walking the length of the restaurant strip went back to one of the first ones for an Italian where we chatted about how it went with Dr. Curtis and the like. After that we went around the shops picking outfits for each other, Becca's such a glam tran ;) It's thirsty work shopping so we went to Costa for some refreshments, can't beat a good hot chocolate, it's the best! The time was getting on so we called it a day, it had been such a lovely afternoon and I had felt quite relaxed out and about. We said our goodbyes and I started out on my long drive home, spending the whole day out was great and a real confidence boost - watch out world here I come...

Jenny xx

Browsers

I'm making a website at the moment, Internet Explorer 6 is 8 years old, if it were a human, it would be in a care home hobbling around with a zimmer-frame with senility firmly set in. It's not only slow but it's also inherently insecure. That apart, it's horrid to code for as Microsoft in their infinite wisdom decided that they didn't need to follow web standards and make up their own, as all the modern browsers render pages correctly according to web standards (even IE 8) it's hard to get modern techniques working in IE 6.

Google, You Tube, Amazon and some others are due to stop supporting IE 6, You Tube are already offering an upgrade option to IE 6 users. This means they won't test their sites to see if they work in IE 6 so you might still be able to use the site but it may not behave as expected.

So, my question is if you were using IE 6, would you mind having a message giving you options to upgrade before viewing a site?

Any take on the subject would be greatly welcomed.
Jenny x

BNO - wooo!

Chloe and I hadn't seen each other for a while so we decided to set a date to catch up and go out, after bouncing ideas around the country of where to go out we decided to head over to the good ol' BNO in Milton Keynes. Leading up to BNO I'd met Aimee, a girl from Exeter who's a few months ahead of me on the NHS conveyor belt so I invited her to join me.

I managed to get off work early so I could get up to Exeter to pick up Aimee and get on our way up to Milton Keynes, the pick up was swift and we were on our way through hideous Friday traffic, well I say through I really mean spluttering along with everyone else wanting to get up to MK. We finally arrived at the Windmill where Aimee was staying, Chloe and I were booked in there too but a room had become available at the Campanile and Chloe couldn't get hold of me (while I was at work) so a brash decision was made, not the end of the world but a bit annoying for Aimee - Sorry.

I got to the Campanile a little frazzled, it was great to see Chloe, I nipped in the shower and proceeded to get ready... about an hour later after being told I had to wear a skirt I was ready and on my way to pick up Aimee from the Windmill hoping my space would still be there when I returned, alas it wasn't and after shaking my fist which I was told wasn't very lady like I managed some precarious parking leaving my car flirting with the tranny-trench.

We joined everyone in the Hotel bar for a drink before heading over to the Pink Punters Night Club, it was great to see so many familiar faces, Stacey, Claire, Nesssie, Stella, Laura and Amy who I'd briefly met at Sparkle. Chloe and I had a good ol' catch up telling her about everything that's been going on with me, she's so lovely and wise - she gives the best advice.

Deciding it was time to head over to PP we made our way across the car park to the tranny-trench which almost got the better of Chloe, luckily she regained her composure and managed to get to the road unscathed. On our way over we bumped in to Danny who said "Have you seen my girlfriend?" which made me chuckle.

The rest of the night went in a flash, chatting to old and new faces, there was quite a good turn out which is nice to see. I spent some time chatting to Amy (GG), we got on really well and talked about everything and anything. I'd noticed a TS I had met up in Birmingham a while back who looked fabulous, not that she didn't before, Chloe said I should go and say hi which to be fair I didn't need too much pushing as I had Dutch courage by my side so I made my way over to her and said "Hi, do you remember me?" to which she said "No". Oh dear, I tried to explain where she knew me from but no bells were ringing in her head so I left saying that I thought she looked great and she was inspiring. It was quite funny but a little embarrassing at the same time.

Aimee decided to call it a night leaving Chloe, Amy and I to have a dance to some techno-dance-something-or-other which I couldn't really dance to, Chloe on the other hand is an awesome dancer - need to get some tips from there. We headed back for a night-cap as we'd still got some wine left in the room. On the way back I checked my precarious parking, Amy who hadn't been drinking for most of the night offered to move it in to a now vacant space, after trying to find reverse she did a beautiful job and parked it perfectly - who says women can't reverse park?

We got to the room and had some wine but most importantly FLAPJACKS! Mmmmm, yummy... they weren't just any flapjacks though, they were M&S Flapjacks.

Got up, had a shower, shave etc and got ready, minimal make-up despite the need for heavy foundation (grrh). It seemed everyone was heading over to the Little Chef for breakfast, collected Aimee and met everyone there. The staff didn't blink an eye and were really friendly, the best Little Chef in the world. We had a good breakfast, said good bye to everyone we were on our way, well almost, my car needed breakfast too.

The drive back was quite frustrating with traffic but totally worth it for the great night out with friends.

Jenny xx

Those that matter...

A month or so back I had a dilemma about whether to tell girl I'd met about me, in the end I thought it was best to bring everything out in the open with her. This was a good idea and we've become good friends but for various reasons (not solely due to me being TG) that's where we'll remain, she's been really supportive and has provided some great words of advice. I'm sure some may be disappointed but don't be as I've gained a lovely understanding friend.

On another tack now, I recently went to see a very good friend of mine who has been so since my first week at university. I went with it in the back of my mind that I would like to tell him about Gender Dysphoria and me, I had no idea when would be the best time to broach the subject or how. He's a little bit of a Monty Python fan and I was semi-tempted to come out with "I want to be a woman Stan!" but I wasn't sure how I would follow it, luckily the day before he and his wife had been joking that I looked like a Lady (cue Little Briton voices) because I was spinning a parasol belonging to their daughter. I said "Remember you said I was a Lady yesterday, well it's not too far from the truth - I've something called gender dysphoria which is when someone isn't happy with the gender they are." and after a brief pause he said "Really? Are you joking" (or something along those lines) so I went on to explain that it wasn't something I'd just decided but something that had been with me for many years. He was absolutely lovely about it all, gave me a hug (awww) and said that I'm still the same person inside with the same interests etc. We had a good conversation about it and I explained that the term Transgender is an umbrella term that covers a wide spectrum and that sexuality and gender are two separate things. He's been really supportive since telling him and asked for any web resources that might help his understanding on the subject, I passed the links I went to see my GP with plus a couple of videos I've linked to previously in my posts.

I felt like I could trust this person with this and hoped they would be understanding although I had to prepare myself for loosing a friend as you've got to do with anyone you tell, even family. I tried to tell my parents recently and couldn't bring myself to broach the subject with them, I'm obviously not ready for that one just yet. I'm so glad that I didn't loose a friend, I'm sure everyone won't be as understanding or supportive... those that matter don't care and those that care don't matter.

Jenny xx

GP part 2

I'd got my appointment to see my GP again on Monday morning, after waking up at silly O'Clock (about 3am-ish I suspect) with an epiphany... I'll go to the GP dressed! Now that was decided the rest of the night was pondering what to wear punctuated by a few Zzzs here and there.

I woke up with plenty of time to get ready as my appointment was after the time I usually get to work and it's only a 5-10 minute walk. I had already finalised my thoughts (for once) on what to wear so that wasn't an issue, just a case of having a shower, shave, breakfast, teeth, get dressed and make-up - easy! I did minimal make-up, well as minimal as you can get with the foundation I have to apply at the mo but minimal all the same. As you can imagine I was a little nervous walking out the front door in to the big wide world on my own for the first time in to a public environment where I'd have to interact with people who weren't gay or trans, but out the door I went with my sunglasses - it was sunny, what's a girl to do?

After getting back
It actually felt really good walking down the road, when I got to the surgery they've got an automated booking in system where you have to put in your date of birth and gender - it did make me giggle when I had to select the male option. I was then directed up to the waiting room where I waited... and waited, the automated booking in system had informed me there was a 2 minute wait but it was way past that. The waiting room wasn't too busy but there were a few people in there, I even got a few smiles from people. Going to to doctors always makes me feel like things could be a lot worse and puts me back in my place, not that I'm a regular, this is my second time in 6 years or so, the first being a couple of weeks ago. I was finally called in (by my male name) although my first name could have easily been missed, I don't think she was expecting to see me dressed as Jenny and to be honest a day earlier I hadn't really thought about it, she said "I really didn't recognise you there". As I sat down she said that I was obviously quite comfortable there and we began to chat about various appropriate subjects but most importantly (to me), referrals... she's already put in a referral to Newton Abbot for me and asked if I'd like to be referred to a head doctor (because I'm obviously a bit nutty) to which I said I thought it would be a good thing for me to help understand things in my own head.

It was a reasonably short appointment but I came out really excited and happy I'd done it, I almost skipped home while texting a couple of friends. It puts smile on my face just thinking about it.

And now a big big thank you to everyone that's helped me get to where I am now, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you - sometimes the tiniest actions have the largest impact, that includes anyone that's read my blog or commented on my posts. Thank you!

A Happy Jenny xxx