At the Gender Clinic

I have been before so it's not a new experience, actually while I think about it I'll talk about my first time there. Cue wavy cut to soft black and white (Heroes-esque) flashback:

Driving around Newton Abbot, I decided I was a little lost but saw a sign for the hospital which I followed and parked in the car park and made my way in, after talking to the receptionist (I didn't even think about it, I just went up to the counter and asked her where to go) it turned out I was at the wrong hospital. I was cutting it fine as it was so I was sure to be late now, the nice lady gave me directions to the other hospital. I thanked her and went back to my car whilst trying to call the Gender Clinic to let them know I was coming but going to be a little late, I couldn't get through. I proceeded to get lost and resorted to getting google maps on my phone to see where I needed to go, after a little orientation I managed to get on the right road and found the right hospital.

I hurried my way up to what I thought was the right building, which wasn't, again I was pointed in the right direction. Now in the right building I said I had an appointment and was a little late as I'd gone to the wrong hospital to the receptionist, she asked if I'd been there before suggesting to go straight through, realising the fact I'd gone to the wrong hospital she directed me through.

It was all good and a good experience, I didn't even think about talking to people... I just went in. The appointment was good, mostly background, family, childhood how I felt stuff really.

So that was my first experience there, today my third time there didn't provide such a ridiculous story for getting there however it was good. We spoke about how I was getting on spending more time as me which lead to what my thoughts were about going full time.

We also spoke about whether I wanted to go on hormones and what the effects might be, the basics of them being lowering testosterone, softening of the skin, lower libido, and the like. I'm going to talk to their Dr. about the specifics and full details about them and what the long term effects might be. I will do a lot of research before going so I will know what questions to ask.

I mentioned that I wanted to know about what options I have for sperm storage, the NHS can't help me however there is a private clinic that can do it. It would be around £80-100 a month for up to 10 years storage.

I did have a look for a picture to attach to this post but they're on my other machine, I'll dig one out for next time, sorry.

Jenny x

The Big Smoke

I went to London on Monday to see Dr. Curtis of TransHealth about what options I have with regard to going full time and transitioning.

I stopped over at a friend's house on Sunday as they're about an hour out from London, I was presented with a beautifully wrapped present, a pink t-shirt with a cool binary design, I love it. Unfortunately my friend had to leave quite early so he didn't get to see me in the morning but his lovely wife was about and make me feel completely comfortable. She hadn't met me (Jenny) before I presented myself, she complimented me on my make-up skills and gave me a hug and her best wishes when I left, I really am very lucky to have such lovely friends.

The drive in to London went without incident although I ignored the directions when I got in to London and worked out my own route in which probably took longer but I had left with plenty of time. Once on Wimpole Street I parked up, paid for the congestion charge and the parking so I didn't have to worry about it. As I was early I gave Fiona (Fiona's Boots) a call as she was going for a job interview that afternoon, she had just got to Euston so it'd take a few minutes for her to get to where I was, I suggested to meet at Oxford Circus as that was the easiest tube station for her to get to. I made my way to Oxford Street which didn't take long at all, as I was there I thought it would be rude not to go in to Topshop for a look around, it was really nice to have a look around and felt a lot more comfortable than when in boy mode - I did have to buy a cardigan that I liked the look of. I also went in to H&M and got a vest top for £3, bargain! Luckily Fiona landed at Oxford Circus and greeted me with a big hug saving my bank balance from any more abuse, time was getting on now so she escorted me back to Wimpole Street. She'd been to see Dr. Curtis so knew where to go, we chatted all the way back about this and that as you do.

I pressed the button for Dr. Curtis and managed to get the words "I have an appointment with Dr. Curtis" out in some kind of order, the receptionist buzzed us in. I filled out a form with various questions about history, my details and consent. I was then called in, I said my good bye and good luck (for the job interview) to Fiona. Dr. Curtis had a medical student with him and asked if I minded her sitting in on the consultation which I didn't mind so it was ok, I was asked various questions about my gender history, childhood and the like. We spoke about options for my real hair and that any treatment wouldn't affect having laser hair removal on my face contrary to what they thought at the Nuffield Hospital in Plymouth (grrrh), what could be done with voice therapy and something I hadn't even thought about - Banking sperm so if I wanted to have my own children with a partner in the future I could use my own.

Another thing I hadn't thought of and hadn't come across is that some people return to living as their original gender either permanently or just for work and social gatherings, time will obviously tell on this one but (at this time) I don't think I will revert back once I've transitioned. We then talked about options for hormones, I would either have to go full time for 3 months or have 3 months of gender specific counselling, currently I wouldn't want to go full time as I still have a long way to go with getting rid of facial hair, I wouldn't be comfortable having to put so much foundation on all the time, I hate the amount I need when I do go out at the moment without that being every day. It was great to get things really moving in the right direction.

I had arranged to meet up with Beckie Cannons from TINT so I made my way to Westfield shopping centre not far from the big BBC building near White City, I did take a slight detour on my way but that's not important, I got their and met Beckie who was in drab yet looking dapper. We were both quite hungry so after walking the length of the restaurant strip went back to one of the first ones for an Italian where we chatted about how it went with Dr. Curtis and the like. After that we went around the shops picking outfits for each other, Becca's such a glam tran ;) It's thirsty work shopping so we went to Costa for some refreshments, can't beat a good hot chocolate, it's the best! The time was getting on so we called it a day, it had been such a lovely afternoon and I had felt quite relaxed out and about. We said our goodbyes and I started out on my long drive home, spending the whole day out was great and a real confidence boost - watch out world here I come...

Jenny xx

GP part 2

I'd got my appointment to see my GP again on Monday morning, after waking up at silly O'Clock (about 3am-ish I suspect) with an epiphany... I'll go to the GP dressed! Now that was decided the rest of the night was pondering what to wear punctuated by a few Zzzs here and there.

I woke up with plenty of time to get ready as my appointment was after the time I usually get to work and it's only a 5-10 minute walk. I had already finalised my thoughts (for once) on what to wear so that wasn't an issue, just a case of having a shower, shave, breakfast, teeth, get dressed and make-up - easy! I did minimal make-up, well as minimal as you can get with the foundation I have to apply at the mo but minimal all the same. As you can imagine I was a little nervous walking out the front door in to the big wide world on my own for the first time in to a public environment where I'd have to interact with people who weren't gay or trans, but out the door I went with my sunglasses - it was sunny, what's a girl to do?

After getting back
It actually felt really good walking down the road, when I got to the surgery they've got an automated booking in system where you have to put in your date of birth and gender - it did make me giggle when I had to select the male option. I was then directed up to the waiting room where I waited... and waited, the automated booking in system had informed me there was a 2 minute wait but it was way past that. The waiting room wasn't too busy but there were a few people in there, I even got a few smiles from people. Going to to doctors always makes me feel like things could be a lot worse and puts me back in my place, not that I'm a regular, this is my second time in 6 years or so, the first being a couple of weeks ago. I was finally called in (by my male name) although my first name could have easily been missed, I don't think she was expecting to see me dressed as Jenny and to be honest a day earlier I hadn't really thought about it, she said "I really didn't recognise you there". As I sat down she said that I was obviously quite comfortable there and we began to chat about various appropriate subjects but most importantly (to me), referrals... she's already put in a referral to Newton Abbot for me and asked if I'd like to be referred to a head doctor (because I'm obviously a bit nutty) to which I said I thought it would be a good thing for me to help understand things in my own head.

It was a reasonably short appointment but I came out really excited and happy I'd done it, I almost skipped home while texting a couple of friends. It puts smile on my face just thinking about it.

And now a big big thank you to everyone that's helped me get to where I am now, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you - sometimes the tiniest actions have the largest impact, that includes anyone that's read my blog or commented on my posts. Thank you!

A Happy Jenny xxx

Catching up...

Right, sorry for my lack of posting recently I hope you'll forgive me. Here's the first update...

Very exciting, I finally got enough courage to go and see my GP about (my) Gender Dysphoria, I got to see a lady GP which is what I wanted. Beforehand I went on to the Angels forum and made a post asking if I needed to take anything specific or any advice on what to do, luckily there's people that have been there and done it all before me so they could give some great advice on what I needed to do/take with me. So I went in prepared with the contact details of the Newton Abbot Clinic of Gender and Sexual Medicine and a few websites:

• NHS Introduction to Gender Dysphoria


• TS Roadmap


• Mind - Understanding Gender Dysphoria

I finally got called in, I was quite but knew I needed to just come out with it so I said "I think I have Gender Dysphoria.", she gave me a look as if to say "and... do you want to expand upon that", I hadn't really thought about what to say after that but I thought starting at the start would be the best place so I told her about my childhood, teen years and how I felt now. She was very good and had experience of Transgender issues which helped as she asked (what I thought) were the right sort of questions and was told about the Newton Abbot Clinic, she said she'd like to get herself up to speed, find out a bit more about the NA Clinic and for me to see her in again in couple of weeks.

All in all, I thought it was very positive and I felt like I had done the right thing and I could start moving things forward. Yey!

That's it for this instalment, more to come...
Jenn xx